….shall I not drink it? John 18:11b
![images1YNK0B9L](https://forlovesake.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/images1ynk0b9l.jpg?w=300&h=110)
July is the seventh month of the American calendar. Seven is the number of completeness and perfection/perfecting (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. God has done some amazing healing work in my heart this month and for that I am so very grateful. While spending time with my daughter and grandkids here in Richmond, my thoughts would drift consistently to the ideal of moving back here. Each time, I would say…”get thee behind me Satan” or no way, never gonna happen, I am so through with Richmond, done my time, I ain’t repeating the sentence.” I was really struggling with the mere thought of it. On my third day here this time, I got violently sick with a form of gastro intestinal illness complete with three days of diarrhea and inflammation so bad that my feet looked distorted. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time praying and seeking God for healing. Finally, on the third day, I got some relief, I couldn’t imagine that so much was in me, and the release was thorough, deep and cleansing, during which I also made an awesome decision concerning my return to Richmond. When I look back on it, I had actually made the decision on the very first day of my illness. I have been taught by my leadership that we are impacted naturally and spiritually when coming into alignment with God’s will. Ah ha! I realize now that I was being “purged” and releasing all of the dead stuff, the negative thinking, the fear and doubt, shame and blame that I had coupled with leaving and now coming back to Richmond, a place where I sowed so much and a place where I lost so much, over the past 27 years. WoW! It was as if, after the third day and my body started acting normal again, I had no struggle at all, in fact, it actually made perfect sense to me to return. I heard God whisper, and I sent you out to bring you back for my Glory, much like Moses, much like Hagar! much like Noami, much like Ruth! My God! It has been all for PURPOSE, it has been for your PERFECTING, it has been for your COMPLETION, it has been for my GLORY, sayeth the Lord! Who wouldn’t love a God like that? Nobody has to tell you how painful purging and releasing can be, but they will also tell you that they are so glad it happened. Emotional cleansing is a life-giving healing. Things inside of you that block the flow of God using you for his glory, when and where he wants to use you, must be liquidfied, brought down to size and eliminated from the host. Constipation is painful. It is toxicity at its worse, and it must be dealt with decisively. There is actually a mental disorder called encopresis, that often occurs in children where they have a fear of elimination. I have had several on my caseload over the years. Another possible cause of encopresis is a physical problem related to the intestine’s ability to move stool. The child also may develop encopresis because of fear or frustration related to toilet training. Stressful events in the child’s life, such as a family illness or the arrival of a new sibling, may contribute to the disorder. In some cases, the child simply refuses to use the toilet. In giving this graphic, my intention is to show you how we can refuse to let go of our fears, sadness, mourning, pain, anger, and control to experience the unknown while obeying the voice of God. I know, few of us, correlate disobedience with constipation, but both stink, right?! Yes, and once we, let go and let God, he shows us our Purpose in doing so, and or at the least he directs us toward his will and way and we understand it better by and by! He ultimately shows us His Love, moreover the Power of His Love to heal and restore, deliver and set free – it is indeed redemptive.
So what does all this have to do with the cup that My Father has given ME, – Everything! Like Jesus, I know that moving back to Richmond was going to be sacrificial for me on so many fronts. Even for those who welcome it, they will realize that I am not the same woman who left here in 2009 suddenly, that I have grown, I have spent time in the desert, I have survived the suggested suicidal remedies presented to me by the enemy of my soul in the wilderness of my experiences and have come through with a greater resolve to do the will of God. I have learned how to pray hard, to fight the good fight of faith, I have learned to speak my truth, without apology, I have learned to lean and depend on Jesus more….I have learned about the power of His resurrection in my life. For those who might be bewildered regarding my return…get over it!…I will drink of this cup…..I am here to handle my Father’s Business, its my mission and characterizes the ministry of love He has given me, and I want to hear him say….well done. It’s my cup, its full, its bitter at times, but it is also sweet to my soul. The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and of my cup: He maintains my lot. Psalm 16:5